Fall

There are many things that I love about fall.

The quiet Saturday mornings where I can curl up in my favorite sweater with a cup of coffee in one hand and my Bible in the other.

The smell of the many pumpkin treats that I have waited for all year long.

The sound of the leaves crunching as I walk. 

The long drives taken on Sunday afternoons in order to see the trees with leaves painted in a glorious spread of yellows, oranges, and reds.   

The bonfires. The hayrides. The corn mazes.  The list could goes on.

There is something about fall that causes me to slow down the busy pace of my life.  I feel more at ease to quiet my soul and to listen more than I speak.  In the quiet, I receive more than I ever thought to be possible.  Feeling His presence more deeply, I can hear my Father more clearly.  

Fall helps me find the place where I should be all year long.  It reunites me with the promise that God is always near.  I am reminded that if He cares for lilies of the field or the birds of the air, how much more must He love me?  I see how intimately He is involved with the changing of the seasons.  The air becomes cooler and the leaves change their color and fall off the trees. He knows when the time is right for the birds to fly south.  In the midst of all this change, He is in control.

I am at a time in life where I feel like I am transitioning.  I graduate this coming December.  Lord willing I will be headed off to South Africa for 4 months.  But I still feel like I have so many questions in the middle of all this change.

How am I going to make it through student teaching?

God, I’m worried about finances.  How will I be able to pay for everything?

What will I do when I graduate? 

God how will you bring in the support for my missions trip?

What happens after I return from South Africa in May? 

God, I’d like to get married. When will I meet someone? When will I get married?

His response has been “Be still. I will take care of you.” '

Nothing specific has been answered, but I know that I have a hope for my future.  And that is far more than enough for me.

Today I find my rest in many of His promises.

He is my salvation.  Psalm 62:7

My salvation was a gift. Nothing I did earned it.  Romans 6:23

I will know no love greater than His for me.  By His wounds I have been healed.  Isaiah 53:5

He shows compassion to me as a father showing compassion to His children. Psalm 103:13

All things work together for my good.  Romans 8:28

One day, death and sorrow will be no more.  Revelation 21:4

He will heal me when I am brokenhearted.  Psalm 147:3

His Word will transform me. Psalm 19:7

In the times of quiet, the verses containing these truths wash away any worry about the future that might have infested my soul.  My heavenly father speaks these truths to me when I need them most.  I often miss them because I am not listening for Him.  It is the prayer of my heart that God would teach me how to be a better listener.  It is in the silence that I find perfect peace and rest.

From the Diary of a Student Teacher...

God is so good.  All summer I have been dreading this whole student teaching experience.  Now I find myself excited to begin teaching on Monday.  I am surprised at the joy that comes from being around these children and helping them to experience music and express themselves with it.

Why was I so fearful of this?  Perhaps many of my fears were and are irrational.   I overwhelm myself with lies far too often. 

My conversations with myself go like this:

You’re not good enough.

           

On your own, definitely not! But who is your God? Is He not the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe?

You have nothing to offer.  

           

You have been given much. Stop hoarding it for yourself because you are afraid. 

You are going to fail.

           

You will most definitely fail sometimes. Humble yourself and get over it. How else will you learn?

What will people think?

            Are you working for the approval of men or of God?  Each day you have a choice in who you will serve. Choose wisely.

I can’t do this.

            God has given you all you need.  He has put you here in this place for His glory.  Do you trust Him? Do you really trust that He would never lead you where He will not sustain and guide you?  If you are diligent and hard worker, He will bless. 

I have found that I am a selfish person.   I’m not saying this so you can say “Wow! Look at how open and honest she is about herself! She must be so godly and intune with the Lord!”  No.  I am such a sinner. I am not boasting in this.  I have nothing to boast in except Christ.  I am in a place where I am so overwhelmed with what God is teaching me.  He has brought me from complete despair about life and the future and reminded me of my glorious hope in Jesus Christ, all in the past two weeks.  Oh how I will never understand such peace.