From the Diary of a Student Teacher...

God is so good.  All summer I have been dreading this whole student teaching experience.  Now I find myself excited to begin teaching on Monday.  I am surprised at the joy that comes from being around these children and helping them to experience music and express themselves with it.

Why was I so fearful of this?  Perhaps many of my fears were and are irrational.   I overwhelm myself with lies far too often. 

My conversations with myself go like this:

You’re not good enough.

           

On your own, definitely not! But who is your God? Is He not the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe?

You have nothing to offer.  

           

You have been given much. Stop hoarding it for yourself because you are afraid. 

You are going to fail.

           

You will most definitely fail sometimes. Humble yourself and get over it. How else will you learn?

What will people think?

            Are you working for the approval of men or of God?  Each day you have a choice in who you will serve. Choose wisely.

I can’t do this.

            God has given you all you need.  He has put you here in this place for His glory.  Do you trust Him? Do you really trust that He would never lead you where He will not sustain and guide you?  If you are diligent and hard worker, He will bless. 

I have found that I am a selfish person.   I’m not saying this so you can say “Wow! Look at how open and honest she is about herself! She must be so godly and intune with the Lord!”  No.  I am such a sinner. I am not boasting in this.  I have nothing to boast in except Christ.  I am in a place where I am so overwhelmed with what God is teaching me.  He has brought me from complete despair about life and the future and reminded me of my glorious hope in Jesus Christ, all in the past two weeks.  Oh how I will never understand such peace.