Summer. It's been on my mind since....last September? I also tend to worry about my summer plans. The summer of 2009 was a big one for me. I graduated High School that May, which was a pretty big deal I guess. I went to Ghana, Africa that summer. I went to Florida to visit my nana. I went to Teen leadership conference and I counseled at Camp Tohigo. It was a big summer.
Last summer, I worked as a counselor for the majority of time at New Life Island. It was a life changing experience because I had always wanted to work as a camp counselor for a summer. It was stretching. It was uncomfortable. It was a valuable experience. It was big.
SO in getting ready for this coming summer, I was stressed beyond belief. I applied for a bunch of things but had no real desire to do any of them. My heart was longing to be at home. It's been awhile since I've been at home for more than a month at a time. I truly feel that God has led me to be at home this summer and at first it was somewhat of a "let-down", going from having huge summers the past two years. But somehow I have this feeling that this summer is going to be unlike any I have ever had.
I am scared. I have almost no friends at home. I haven't lived with my family for a long enough period of time to get really upset and fight. I haven't been involved in my home church since high school, and even then I can't say I was super involved. I've changed and I've grown, and it will be different to go home where things have changed as well. I can't expect things to always be the same.
This summer I have big plans. And by the grace of God, I hope to achieve these goals.
1. Fall more in love with my Precious Savior (Which entails A LOT )
2. Spend time with my family
3. Learn how to cook well, sew, and clean.
3. Maintain a summer job
4. 30 day shred everday
5. Get super involved in my home church
6. Counsel at teen leadership conference
Even just looking at that list, I can see that God is going to do big things in my life this summer and I know he will honor diligence and discipline. I pray for His strength!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Spring Cleaning?
I am one of those people that likes to collect "stuff". I like to keep objects that remind me of certain places I have been, people I have met, and things I have done. I also like to be prepared. I like to have things in stock, just in case of an emergency. I have more clothes than any female should be allowed to have and more shoes than I actually wear.
The funny thing is, I don't use more than half of the stuff that I own, I just hold onto it "just in case" the need comes for me to use it. I am terrified of getting rid of this "stuff" that I own, because I think I will one day need it. In reality, this stuff clutters my life. It makes me frustrated, it makes my life a mess. I think I need it to make me happy and safe, but the truth is, I don't.
The same thing can be said about the conditions of our hearts. The very sanctuary in which the Holy Spirit dwells within. We hold onto our secret sins, our impure relationships, our wicked thoughts, our critical spirits, our selfish motivations, and our fear of complete surrender. The list goes on. We hold onto these things trying to convince ourselves that we need them, that these things will somehow make us happier and get us what we want. But deep down inside we know that we can't fool ourselves, and even more we know we can't fool God.
The deepest longing of the human heart is to be satisfied. To be content. To be loved. Only God can give us full and complete satisfaction through Him. Nothing else. This sort of intimacy with God cannot happen with a heart that allows itself to be controlled by garbage. It literally hurts when I think about how much we settle. How much I settle. I settle for the ever so fleeting momentary pleasure. Why?
I have been reading through 1 Peter for the past month now. In chapter 2, verse 1-3 say
"So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good."
My heart is so cluttered with these things. My motivations are all about self. My thoughts are impure. I fear total and complete surrender. I have a critical spirit and am quick to judge others. I hold onto to former sins and try to claim the guilt that is no longer mine. My sanctuary is full of garbage. I don't build my life around Christ, rather I try to make Him just a "part" of my life.
I desire with all my heart to love Jesus. But it is going to require more than just words. It requires surrender. It requires taking out the trash. It requires presenting myself to Christ for change. No amount of "following the rules" or trying to "appease" Christ will make me better with God. It's about obedience. More than anything, I want intimacy with my precious savior because of what He has done for me. He washed, he made me white as snow, he desires a relationship with me. No one loves me more than Him.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it is time for a bit of "spring cleaning". Yes, I need to get rid of the material junk in my life, but more importantly it is time that my inner sanctuary have a good cleaning. It's time to take out the trash.
The funny thing is, I don't use more than half of the stuff that I own, I just hold onto it "just in case" the need comes for me to use it. I am terrified of getting rid of this "stuff" that I own, because I think I will one day need it. In reality, this stuff clutters my life. It makes me frustrated, it makes my life a mess. I think I need it to make me happy and safe, but the truth is, I don't.
The same thing can be said about the conditions of our hearts. The very sanctuary in which the Holy Spirit dwells within. We hold onto our secret sins, our impure relationships, our wicked thoughts, our critical spirits, our selfish motivations, and our fear of complete surrender. The list goes on. We hold onto these things trying to convince ourselves that we need them, that these things will somehow make us happier and get us what we want. But deep down inside we know that we can't fool ourselves, and even more we know we can't fool God.
The deepest longing of the human heart is to be satisfied. To be content. To be loved. Only God can give us full and complete satisfaction through Him. Nothing else. This sort of intimacy with God cannot happen with a heart that allows itself to be controlled by garbage. It literally hurts when I think about how much we settle. How much I settle. I settle for the ever so fleeting momentary pleasure. Why?
I have been reading through 1 Peter for the past month now. In chapter 2, verse 1-3 say
"So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good."
My heart is so cluttered with these things. My motivations are all about self. My thoughts are impure. I fear total and complete surrender. I have a critical spirit and am quick to judge others. I hold onto to former sins and try to claim the guilt that is no longer mine. My sanctuary is full of garbage. I don't build my life around Christ, rather I try to make Him just a "part" of my life.
I desire with all my heart to love Jesus. But it is going to require more than just words. It requires surrender. It requires taking out the trash. It requires presenting myself to Christ for change. No amount of "following the rules" or trying to "appease" Christ will make me better with God. It's about obedience. More than anything, I want intimacy with my precious savior because of what He has done for me. He washed, he made me white as snow, he desires a relationship with me. No one loves me more than Him.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it is time for a bit of "spring cleaning". Yes, I need to get rid of the material junk in my life, but more importantly it is time that my inner sanctuary have a good cleaning. It's time to take out the trash.
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