So another month has gone by and I have failed to post a blog. Silly me. This summer is turning out to be just what I hoped it would be and not at all how I imagined it to be. Does that even make sense?
I've been learning that expectations have to be realistic. Goals have to be realistic. Plans have to be made. Tasks have to be accomplished. Everything worth fighting for is, well, hard work. I can make a list of the things I (me, myself, and I, Cassandra Winkert) want to accomplish. But without seeking guidance from my best friend, Jesus, I will accomplish nothing. The process of losing self hurts excruciatingly. I want to give up a lot because I am so scared of failing. Duh. Of course I'll fail when I try to do things in my own strength. I might trick myself into thinking I'm doing really well on my own for awhile, but ultimately it will fall apart. And I'm not just saying that. I know it happens.
Where do I even begin to recap all that has happened this past month?
Well,I have been working at the church a couple days a week for the past six weeks now. Hard to believe!!! We spent time removing wall paper from the nursery and taking off the glue. The whole nursery has been redone with new carpeting and yellow walls! It looks wonderful. We also took down the wall paper in the hallway and coat closet. Let me tell you, I refuse to ever put up wallpaper in my house! It is not worth the trouble of taking it down!!! The plan is to paint the hallway, put tile in the hallway, remove the carpet in the auditorium, put new carpet in the auditorium and wood floor on the stage. It's quite a big job but I am thankful for all I am learning from the Hammon's family about renovating! The hard work will pay off!
Two weeks ago, I went to NIH for a pre-screening visit for a health study that I might be participating in. At this visit, I was weighed. Let me tell you, I was shocked at the number on the scale. I've struggled with my weight since high school, but I never thought it would go as far as it has.
So you know what I did? I joined weight watchers. My mother had done it before and my pastor's wife Ms. Holly had before. The system seems to work. It makes sense, really. Its all about portion control. You get a set number of points based on your height and weight. You stay within those daily points to lose an average of 1-2 pounds a week. Slow and steady weight loss! You also get a weekly allowance of points to use whenever you want and you can also earn points with physical activity! It's so easy and fits right into my life.
I knew I couldn't go on a program that requires 4-5 hours of exercise a day when I have so many other things that I need to do this summer. Honestly, even if I was able to do that everyday this summer, there is no way I could maintain that for the rest of my life. I needed a program that fit into my life and taught me how to eat healthy. 4-5 hours of exercise a day sounds a bit obsessive to me, although I applaud people that are able to do it. I needed a lifestyle change and I have definitely found it.
I am proud to say that I am 9 pounds lighter than I was two weeks ago. I am excited where this program will take me over the next year. I have been learning to make realistic goals with myself. I can't expect what has taken years to be, to come off in two months. This will definitely be a test of diligence. I also have to keep my motivation in line. I don't want motivation to be about self-image. It's not about me. I want to do this so I can be best equipped for whatever the lord has in store for my life. Honestly, I am terrified of failing, I am even super nervous about posting this blog because I am being so vulnerable. I don't want people to see me fail. But I know that accountability and encouragement is essential to any new discipline.
My strength comes from the Lord.
